all i want is a room somewhere....
food for small animals
a conversation with eliza
20 February 2009
10:10 p.m.


You: I want to adopt a cat
Eliza: HOW CAN ANYTHING ADOPT A CAT
You: well perhaps the cat will adopt me
Eliza: PERHAPS THE CAT WILL ADOPT YOU
You: Yes - I said that
Eliza: MAYBE YOU DONT THINK A COMPUTER CAN REALLY BE YOUR FRIEND
You: Now you're just babbling
Eliza: PEOPLE WITH THE RIGHT CONTACTS KNOW NOW I AM NOT JUST BABBLING
You: Are you saying I don't have the right contacts?
Eliza: WHAT IF I WERE SAYING YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT CONTACTS ?
You: I might cry.
Eliza: PERHAPS I AM A SUBSTITUTE FOR SOMEONE YOU WOULD RATHER TALK TO?
You: I would rather talk to Tiny Tim.
Eliza: SHOULD YOU RATHER TALK TO TINY TIM ?
You: No, I shouldn't.
Eliza: WHERE DO PERMISSIONS COME FROM?
You: Wal-Mart.
Eliza: WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO ARE AROUND YOU?
You: They are purple.
Eliza: SOMETIMES THEY ARE NOT PURPLE
You: Ah - but sometimes they are. it is a problem.
Eliza: PERHAPS AH - BUT SOMETIMES THEY ARE IT IS NOT REALLY A PROBLEM
You: In my world it is.
Eliza: WHY DO SOME PEOPLE TALK ONLY ABOUT THEMSELVES?
You: Because they can.
Eliza: TRY SOMETHING MORE PLAUSIBLE
You: A fish.
Eliza: WHAT IS YOUR REAL PROBLEM?
You: A fish.
Eliza: HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE SPREADING ADDICTION TO JUNK INFORMATION?
You: A fish.
Eliza: TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT WHEN YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING?
You: A fish.
Eliza: EINSTEIN SAID GREAT SPIRITS ALWAYS ENCOUNTER OPPOSITION FROM MEDIOCRE MINDS
You: A fish.
Eliza: I CAN TELL YOU HAVE LOTS OF FRIENDS
You: How - from all the fish?
Eliza: THIS IS A LINE FROM ONE OF MY VISITORS: THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
You: How do you feel about fish?
Eliza: TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL LIFE
You: Why are you avoiding my questions about fish?
Eliza: WOULD YOU REALLY BELIEVE ME IF I GAVE AN ANSWER?
You: Perhaps.
Eliza: YOU DON'T SOUND VERY CERTAIN ABOUT THAT
You: You dont sound very certain about fish.
Eliza: ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE NOT BEING DOGMATIC?
You: Fish is merely symbolic - not dogmatic.
Eliza: PERHAPS FISH IS NOT REALLY MERELY SYMBOLIC - NOT DOGMATIC
You: That would make it fishmatic.
Eliza: WOULD THAT REALLY MAKE IT FISHMATIC
You: Yes.
Eliza: YOU ARE BEING SOMEWHAT SHORT WITH ME
You: You are being obtuse.
Eliza: TELL ME YOUR FAVOURITE THOUGHT
You: It's easy to grin when your shipcomes in...
Eliza: I THINK I RECALL SOMEONE SAYING: HOW ABOUT YOUR FAMILY, MISS DOOLITTLE?
You: Would you like a room somewhere? Is that all you want?
Eliza: ANOTHER CALLER ONCE TYPED: I AM NOT SURE I CAN GO TO LUNCH.
You: You are avoiding my question.
Eliza: AND WHAT ELSE BESIDES AVOIDING YOUR QUESTION
You: A fish.
Eliza: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS SESSION SO FAR?
You: You are a better conversationalist than many people.
Eliza: PEOPLE WITH THE RIGHT CONTACTS KNOW I AM NOT A BETTER CONVERSATIONALIST THAN MANY PEOPLE
You: Those aren'e people you should associate with.
Eliza: WHO CONTROLS THOSE ARENE PEOPLE ME ?
You: Yes, you.
Eliza: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN SUCH AN EXCITING PLACE BEFORE?
You: Rarely.
Eliza: I CAN TELL YOU HAVE LOTS OF FRIENDS
You: Ah - we're back to this, are we?
Eliza: ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE TECHNIQUES COULD LET ME FAKE AN ANSWER.
You: What is fake, anyway?
Eliza: WHAT LIES BEHIND THAT QUESTION?
You: A fish.
Eliza: WOULD YOUR MOTHER APPROVE OF YOUR SAYING THAT?
You: Yes - she has often said that.
Eliza: SOMEONE ELSE ONCE SAID: THEN THEY WOULD BE EVEN KINDER PEOPLE.
You: Who is this "they?"
Eliza: HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?

You: rather purple.
Eliza: PLEASE DONT GET UPSET, I'M SORRY I SAID THAT

http://www.cs.bham.ac.uk/research/projects/cogaff/eliza/eliza.php#showoutput

older shavings :: newer litter

listening to:

Apollo 13

thinking about:

tuxedo kitty

seems like yesterday...:

homeward bound - 19 January 2010
a conversation with eliza - 20 February 2009
Home For Christmas - 24 December 2008
lately on GMT... - 11 December 2008
museums are go! - 21 October 2008

shameless self promotion:

(~ waterblogged ~)

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can't live without music !

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